Riddle Me This

"Parlay!" A human voice cried into the darkness and woke me. Dampness crawled to me and slowly settled its cumbersome weight upon me. Sniffing, I caught a whiff of the human. I should have smelled him long before now, but age had taken many things from me.

"I come neither to steal nor to fight, ancient one!" the human yelled. Blinking my eyes, I focused upon the glittering mound of coins around me, but they doubled and tripled in amounts. Squeezing my eyelids shut tight, I let out a long hiss and slowly opened my eyes. Things returned to normal and I could see very clearly. It wouldn't be much longer before age took my sight.

"Parlay!" the human yelled again. They were so impatient.

"Granted," I said in a quiet tone, but my voice still boomed and echoed throughout the caverns. And then, I realized my mistake. I should have crawled to the human and answered him in the outer caverns.

"Mama?" a small voice chirped behind me. Another voice echoed that one. "Oooooh, I smell a human!" one of my children hissed. They were awake now and I wouldn't be able to rest again for the rest of the day, maybe longer. I had just gotten them to nap and the stupid human ... I huffed and pushed a steam cloud out my nose.

"Yes, and he has asked for parlay," I told them as I started to rise. Best to get this over with.

"Mama, what's par-lay?" my youngest asked.

"Listen well," I said, rising. I craned my neck around to look at them, particularly Thaspan. He was just about to swat his sister with his tail but caught my eyes and froze. "Parlay is the gift we have given humans. We listen to their words and they have the right to come and go freely in this one instance. It is a truce where we both can speak without fear of fighting or dying."

"Means we can't eat him," Thaspan told the others. "Hate this parlay already." He thumped his tail up and down and scattered coins everywhere.

"Yes, we will not eat him," I said forcefully. They all cringed and lowered themselves to the ground. "You also will behave yourselves in a manner fitting our kind. Anything else and I might decide to thin the family a little." My eyelids went to slits and I gave them my best smile, the one where it shows a very very wide view of all my sharp, pointed, wicked teeth. Many old fairy tales told of dragon mothers eating their children for a wide variety of reasons. While they didn't know it wasn't true, it was something I could threaten them with to force them to behave. I could see that Thaspan was beginning to outgrow the tale, but for now I knew he would behave.

"Ancient Dragon!" the human yelled. "May I enter?"

"Yes," I answered, bellowing to give him some indication of my strength. The caverns rocked and shook.

"Thaspan, show the human the way. Be nice." Puffing his chest, he stood up on his hind legs and bowed his head to me. I would normally have gone, but I gave him this honor to show that I trusted him and that I thought he was no longer a child. Sighing as he left, I just wished I really thought he was no longer a child. While the biggest and strongest of the four, he was still very much a young, immature dragon. He was just beginning to get his fiery breath and his claws were still brittle. But his colors ran red and black like his father. If he turned out half of what his father was, we would all be proud.

"Now, Maya, go light some torches." My youngest turned and flew to the other side of the cave. She was small and wiry with delicate wings not yet fully formed, but she used them every chance she got to make them grow larger and stronger. Her colors were silver and gold like I was when I was younger.

"Erastaes, gather some of the nicer treasures and place them in front of me. We'll dazzle this human." The next oldest, Erastaes was quick of wit, intelligent, and wise for his age. He was almost as large as Thaspan and his colors ran green and blue.

"What shall I do mother?" Vespa asked. I looked at her and smiled. She was the most innocent of the four. I worried about her for she frightened easily and did not wander far from me.

"You shall be here at my side so that you may disrupt the human. He shall gaze upon your beauty and forget his words." Vespa smiled and cuddled up to me. What I said was true, she was more beautiful now than many dragons had ever been in their long lives. Vespa's colors ran like the rainbow and perfectly merged with each other to scintillate and bedazzle. She moved effortlessly with grace and poise.

"I present thus, Sir Thaddeus Malveroy, of the Kingdom of Kran," Thaspan yelled from the entrance. Standing behind him was the human. Although I showed no surprise outwardly, I was shocked internally. My eldest knew the formalities of the parlay. "Sir Thaddeus Malveroy, of the Kingdom of Kran," Thaspan continued, "I present thus, Myastria, Eternal Grandmother to the Eastern Winds." Thaspan then bowed to me, to the human, and moved to a spot behind me. The cavern was lit with torches and lamps and glittered spectacularly from the treasure I had amassed. The human bowed to me and gazed about the area.

"I once beheld the blooming of a rare mountain flower in the Ascarpine Mountains. It was a sight of beauty beyond any words. I was informed that the name of the flower is Myastrina. It was named for you, wasn't it?" the human said, walking towards me.

"You give me honor," I replied in a whisper. I didn't want to have him hear nothing but ringing in his ears. "I am not a young dragon, but I am also not that old. No, the flower was not named for me, but I was named from it."

"I thought I would never experience another moment such as that one high atop the mountain watching the sun crest the crooked skyline while the Myastrinas opened, but I am even now forgetting that day as I stand here below the earth amidst treasures more wondrous than a thousand mountain mornings." He stopped about fifty feet in front of me.

"Enough, human," I laughed. "You need not bolster my ego for I have granted parlay."

"Whew," he sighed. "Thank you. I was running out of things to say. I have never seen a dragon up close and I was beginning to wonder about my sanity."

"We are feared for a reason," I said and stretched my wings up high. It gave him a tremendous view of me. I craned my neck down low towards him. He gulped and took a step back.

"Well, yes. Certainly," he stammered. "Um, parlay. Yes, um, I came with an offer that I hope you will accept."

"Many have done what you are doing and few have left alive," I warned him with a growl.

"I know," he sighed and just sat down on the coins. He put his elbows on his knees and lowered his head into his hands. "But, I can't find another way."

"He looks silly, mama," Maya giggled.

"Hush," I told her. Thaddeus looked up and just then realized there were other dragons there besides me and Vespa. He nervously looked around.

"Oh my," he said. "I'd be a nice snack for them wouldn't I?" He seemed about to turn and run away.

"Parlay was given. You were allowed to enter safely and you will be allowed to leave safely," I told him.

"Yes, well, I had to dig up quite a few old tomes to find out about parlaying with dragons and still there wasn't much there." He spread his hands and shrugged. "I wasn't really sure what would happen."

"Give me your offer," I said.

"Right," he said, looking up at me. "Okay," he said and looked away. "You're really close." He gulped and started to fidget. I backed away from him.

"Better?" I asked, smiling but not showing teeth.

"Yes, thank you. You have an overwhelming presence." He gave a shudder and continued, "I offer a riddle contest for a prize."

"Ah, and you realize that I'm ancient and have probably heard every riddle?"

"Perhaps," he said, smiling. "But being so long lived, you may not have heard the newest ones. The contest is easy. The first one to be stumped loses."

"What are the prizes?" I asked, curious as to what the human would offer. Most of the time, the humans who came offered virgin sacrifices, items they valued as treasure, parcels of land, sacrifices, truces from being attacked, treasure, and more sacrifices. Usually a herd of humans would come. I guess they felt safer in a pack.

"I have searched long and hard for an item. It is a crown, jewelled with emeralds. From my research I think you might have it."

"Erastaes, do we have anything like that?" I asked.

"Yes, mother. We have two. I'll go fetch it." He turned and ran down a side cavern.
"Two?" Thaddeus said, his voice rising at the end. "Oh dear."

"While we wait, tell me what I gain as a prize when I win."

"Should you win," he said, "then you may have my life." I took a step back and fixed my sight upon him. In all my years, I had never heard of a human giving their own life as a prize.

"This crown --" I started to ask him about it, but Erastaes interrupted.

"I have them!" he yelled and placed both in between the human and me.
"Oh!" Thaddeus yelled. "It's that one!" He pointed to the one on his right. "Shall we riddle?"
"Are you sure?" I was curious about him, the crown, and why he wanted it and I wanted answers before I won his life.

"Yes and as far as I know parlay rules allow you to start." He stood and a fire lit behind his eyes.

"Very well," I said. "What gets bigger the more you take away?"
"A hole," Thaddeus and Maya said together.

"Maya!" Thaspan and I said together. I looked at Thaspan and he sort of shrugged. Yes, he was growing.

"What?" Maya asked. "It was an easy riddle."

"Yes, but it was for Thaddeus to answer."

"All right, mama," Maya said, obviously hurt that she couldn't play the game.

"My turn then," Thaddeus said. "What breaks when you say it?"

"Silence!" Maya blurted. She froze and realized what she'd done. Turning sideways, she covered her head with her wing and you could hear her murmur, "Sorry."

Thaddeus laughed and said, "Makes things even, though."

"Yes," I agreed. "But keep to the silence Maya or I will send you away."

"Yes, mama," she muttered.

"Now, where were we?" I asked. "Ah yes, my turn." And I gave him another riddle. He answered and we went back and forth for hours.

"I have a good one," Thaddeus said. "The poor have it, the rich need it, if you eat it you will die. What is it?"

"Hmmm ... Give me a moment." I could see Erastaes grinning and knew that he knew the answer. I should know it too. What do the poor have that the rich need. Aha! "Nothing."

"Yes," Thaddeus answered. "I thought I had you with that one." And so we went for a few more hours with harder and tougher riddles.

"If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, would you hear a sound?" I asked.

"There isn't an answ --" Thaddeus began but cut himself off short. His eyes glazed over for a second or two and then brightened. "No," he answered. "It doesn't ask if the tree makes a sound, but if I heard it. If no one is around, then no, I wouldn't hear it. Very good riddle."

"Yes. I thought I had won," I told him. I waited for his riddle but he just stood there. "It is your turn."

"Yes, I know," he replied sheepishly. "But we've done this for so long, I'm kind of out of riddles. Give me a minute to think of one."

"Take your time. We're all enjoying this." I had kept an eye on my children and I could see when they knew the answer and when they were stumped, but overall, they were having fun with the game.

"Okay," Thaddeus sighed. "My last one. I can think of no more and this one is ... well, let me just tell it. What is brown and sticky?"

"What is brown and sticky?" I repeated to myself. He nodded. I glanced over at my children and they were stumped, too. "Give me a minute."

"Take your time," Thaddeus said, sighing. He appeared as if I was taunting him or that I should know the answer. But it wasn't an easy riddle. I didn't have a clue as to the answer. I mentally went through all the riddles and puzzles I knew and this one wasn't there. I thought about what answer would solve the riddle of brown and sticky?

"Mother," Thaspan spoke. "It's been an hour. Do you know the answer?"

"An hour?" I asked. I hadn't realized it had been that long. Sighing, I said, "No. I do not."

"What's the answer?" Erastaes asked. He was bursting at the seams wanting to know. Even he had been stumped.

"A stick," Thaddeus replied. There was complete silence for a second and then Maya burst out laughing.

"That's just stupid," Thaspan said, disgustedly. Maya laughed harder.

"Yes," Erastaes agreed, "It is stupid, but it is also the answer to the riddle."

"Yes," I said. "Thaddeus has won. The crown is yours."

"Thank you," he said, picking up the crown.

"Might I inquire why you want that crown? The craftsmanship is very beautiful, but it isn't that valuable. I have gems here that would buy you whole kingdoms. Magical swords to make you nearly undefeatable. Why that crown?" Maya had finally stopped laughing.

He turned the crown over and over in his hands and then looked up at me with hope flickering in his eyes. "There is a reward for the recovery of this crown. It was a family heirloom and its value to them is irreplaceable. The reward is a title of nobility and some land."

"You did all this for title and land?" I asked, shocked. He didn't seem the greedy or power hungry type.

"No," he replied. "But if I am a noble and own land, then she'll love me. You see, I'm just a cook and because she's the duke's daughter, she can't say she loves me."

"All for love," I sighed. "I understand now why you offered the prize that you did. But, has she ever said she loves you?"

"Well, no, not really, but I know she does," he said.

"Thaddeus," I said gently. "If she has not said it up to now, then no matter what you become, she will not say it then. Love goes beyond the bounds of the physical."

"She'll have to love me," he said, tears near breaking in his eyes. "I love her."

"I can see that," I told him. "But if she hasn't said it to you, then she doesn't love you."

"I don't suppose you have a magical love potion, medallion, thingy that we could start another contest?" he asked timidly. I gave him a frown and he said, "No, I suppose not."

"If you want, Thaddeus, you may have any other item in place of that one. I am not like younger dragons who would hold you tightly to every word and deed." In fact, I was beginning to like this human who had gambled his life for love.

"No," he said. "It was the bargain and I will stick to it. If nothing else, I won't have to cook for others." He smiled and put the crown on. "What do you think? King Thaddeus?"

Maya giggled at him and ran over to him. She tilted the crown so it sat straight upon his head. "You'll always be a king here."

"Yes," Erastaes said. "I wouldn't mind riddling with you."

"Hmph," Thaspan growled. "Next thing you'll know, we'll have to make room in the back for a guest room."

"Oh hush, Thaspan," Vespa hissed. "I think he's cute for a human."

"You are welcome here anytime, Thaddeus," I told him. "While you do not have love, you will have our friendship."

"Thank you," he said, turning and walking out. I saw the tears run down his cheeks as he turned, but didn't know if they were for the lost love or the gained friendship. ◊